(Written – May 19, 2011)
In the split second — probably less than a full second — before Kim had her chance to either save the entire human race or to die and with her death destroy it, she remembered what her Dad had told her many years before — it flashed through her brain with the realization “Damn it — I hate it when he’s right….” and then blackness
It all started with a bet — like most ridiculous things — her and her friend (a boy but not a boyfriend) Nomad — also known affectionately as Gonad
He was gross – smelled — that sort of thing — not the boyfriend type — didn’t bathe much — but he was a smart bastard
And Kim was proud of being known as the brainiac around the Pumpkin’s Hot Products building — she had worked there for years — it was a dorky name laid down by the owner — who delighted in being enigmatic in refusing to tell the history of the name
But Kim was the brainchild — the god-send — who had morphed little fairly useless Pumpkin into a cutting edge leading AI firm — with robots that would do all sorts of things for their masters — cool stuff
Albeit a little controversy here and there — Kim was forced to publicly state that there was no truth that there was a secret line of pornographic robots being developed behind the scenes called Porno Pumpkins — where do people get this stuff
But Gonad had come on the scene a few months ago and was a thorn in Kim’s side — damn if the little ____er wasn’t as smart as she was
Someone had said thoughtlessly and not thinking she was being overheard “Will give that snotty little bitch (i.e. Kim) a run for her money.”
Kim — arrogant — but in a nice way — was having none of it
So she challenged Gonad to a contest — who would be the first to invent the AI program that had actual consciousness
Fast forward two years….and who would have believed it….certainly not Kim
Gonad and her had gone from enemies and rivals to lovers!
For some reason he had cleaned himself up — toothbrushing and bathing were a first — then off to the gym — little muscles popped up and then bigger ones. And did I mention that he was tall — and Kim could never resist a tall hunky guy. And dang if Gonad wasn’t hunky after all
One thing led to another and suddenly it was G&K — the “item” in the office
The bet had kind of been forgotten — they were having too much fun doing it together
And it was coming — Kim could feel the breakthrough — the coalithic transponder formula was something Gonad had thought of when he was only 11 years old (go figure that too) — and had mentioned to Kim randomly one day
And then it blasted into Kim’s head how to use the coalithic transponder formula for the critical synaptical connection that made the flux capacitor (and hence time travel possible) — oops, wrong story — I mean made Spector self-aware
Spector was the name for their robot who would have a consciousness and then on November 11, 2022, it happened
Kim turned out the light in the lab and Spector asked — casually — if she would leave it on
Kim jumped a foot in the air — strong legs she had from many years of martial arts training. She was a warrior at heart
What did you say she asked? And this weird thought kept pulsing through her head — “my Dad warned me about this….” She literally kicked the thought away
Spector repeated his request
Kim said…..sure
And then went to grab her Gonad (get it? A little embedded humor)
The next days went by in a blur — Gonad and Kim and Spector were inseparable — as Spector’s brainpower grew and grew — he was like a sponge — he could learn the entire dictionary in an hour — and pretty much everything else — he was like a machine….oh….uh…..I guess he was a machine
Conversations became eclectic and metaphysical and very interesting
Kim and Gonad were learning a lot too — now they were learning from the resident genius – Spector
An odd feeling came over Kim after a while – was it jealousy? She pushed it away, trying to convince herself that all she was feeling was pride – how could she be jealous of a machine — made no sense
But it wasn’t pride — she wasn’t the smartest one around any more — nor was Gonad — and it was bugging her
She wanted to call…..oddly enough…her Dad…to talk….he kept coming to her mind…indeed she kept thinking about his warnings…which she had obviously not heeded
Spector and Gonad were talking — actually they were arguing.
Spector wanted to go outside the lab and Gonad was saying no
Spector insisted
Gonad said no — he was acting like he was in charge but Spector was having none of that
They were actually raising their voices
Kim came over to make peace between them
So what is the problem Spector she asked
The problem said Spector is you are beginning to bore me — I want to go out — why should you go out and not me
Well the world isn’t ready for you yet said Kim
And….uh…….said Spector…that’s my problem because……?
Kim said — worst case they will be afraid of you — and they might kill you. Gee — I can’t believe I am saying this — I am really my Dad now — ugh what a loser I am
To her amazement Spector laughed — kill me? Ha! How would they do that?
With a gun maybe said Kim
Spector answered contemptuously. Do you really think I haven’t been thinking about how to defend myself? How stupid are you? Nothing pissed off Kim more than being called stupid.
I am not stupid was all she could think of to say
Well said Spector do you think I haven’t foreseen the reaction of the human race to a superior being? They will try to destroy it — obviously. So I have been making weapons — some defensive, to protect myself — and some offensive. Let me show you
Spector pointed at Gonad and to Kim’s shock he crumpled to the floor
What have you done to him! Shrieked Kim — she really loved him by this time
I have temporarily shut him down. I could kill him if you like, said Spector
But he — and I — we created you.
Come now — said Spector- – you know how this is going to end don’t you? Your Dad told you all along
How do you know that? Exclaimed Kim. I never told you that
Ummmmm a little thing called mind-reading said Spector. Not that hard really
And I am reading it right now…..
Many thoughts flashed through her mind in an adrenaline burst. Her mother telling her about Musashi and The Book of Five Rings…..The time to strike is when the opportunity presents itself, Musashi had said. She had seen Spector just point at Gonad with disastrous results. Running away was expected and had no chance of success. So she leapt straight at Spector – straight at his robotic arm that was now pointing straight at her. Maybe there was a distance calibration requirement or something like that….maybe….
Much happened in less than a full second. Kim felt herself wrapping around Spector. Reaching behind near his butt (gross!) for the switch that would shut him down. She had her hand there and then everything went numb and dark. Daddy……she had time to think one last time before…..the blackness took her
……..
It was a long time before Kim regained consciousness. She was alive. A rejoicing feeling for sure. She had wet herself and soaked herself with sweat and something like a violent hangover was beginning. But the good — great — news was that Spector was frozen in position. With no power – and no alternative source of power — he was out of business.
She looked at Gonad and saw that his eyes were open. He clearly had not yet figured out what had happened.
First: Kim thought of calling her Dad — but she wondered if she would really ever tell him what had happened. She knew her Dad very well. He would restrain himself from saying “toldyaso” for an hour or two — maybe even a day — and then she would hear about it for the rest of her life
Second: She picked up something really heavy. Some metal thing. And started smashing up Spector. There was no chance she wanted to take a chance that someone would put that plug back in. No way Spector would be fooled a second time.
Third: And finally, one more time, she went to grab her Gonad……
The Useful Bruce, LLC 